The other day I was waiting at the counter of the local coffee shop (one thing I love in this town is the slowness). I was eyeing the last healthy muffin on the shelf. I heard the man behind me talking to his partner woman about desiring the same muffin. Before I ordered I turned and asked him if he wanted it. He told me since I was in line first it was mine and now I could savor it all the more knowng he had wanted it too, now it had more value. How  have we come to this kind of thinking?
The chickadees have returned to the bird feeders. There are always juniper titmice and pinyon jays and chipmunks the desert ones are so small almost birdlike. I have all kinds of feeding places on the biggest pinyon tree off my porch the feeding tree. I have hung old enamal pots speckled blue like sea bird eggs from the branches. It makes me smile everytime to see birds willingly sitting in old cooking pots perhaps portenting my next meal the way a finding of an armthick elk antler seemed to predict my coming upon, cresting a ridgeline at 10,000. feet,  an antler laden king of an elk.
An Inuit woman now living in a settlement told Hugh Brody in "The Other Side of Eden" that houses were built to trap people. There are nights when I stay cozy inside shutting out the stars and know she is right.

Last year about this same season I came upon, on a rocky ridge, a cave and inside was a bear peering out. Today I returned to the place. There was no bear. I sent Gnomi in first then me to see what it was to sleep like a bear. I went walking along the ridge edge where it climbed to a small piney peak and there in the melting snow were big fresh bear tracks I think the biggest I've ever seen. And what stones there were up there pink tinged like flushed cheeks. I filled my pack with particular ones and meandered indirectly downward. I heard a thumping sound above me I thought maybe a dislodged boulder was rolling bouncing down the steep slope. It was a deer a gleaming antlered buck bounding down so intent he didn't see me I was close to hear even his breathing. Gnomi was all this time running ahead of me I saw her moving far off across a field and heard the yipping howls of a coyote. It had sighted Gnomi maybe mistook her for something wilder then it noticed me and disappeared into the brush. When the sun appeared in the narrow gap between the cloud cover and the hills, three geese flew over their bellies glowing underlit by the low sun. What a piece of day!

A piece of an article from "The Independent UK"  

Feel warm and you'll be more generous and trusting, or so a recent study by researchers at Yale University suggests. They gave volunteers a hot cup of coffee or a cold drink and asked them to rate how trustworthy a person looked. Those holding the hot drink rated people as more trusting.

This shows that psychological warmth and physical warmth have close connections in our brain, says John Bargh, a professor of psychology, who conducted the study. "It seems that the same part of the brain, the insular, which is the size of a walnut right in the middle of the brain, handles both sensations of physical temperature and trust in someone else," he says.

Here is my audience

 It is interesting to think things from different perspectives and imagine ones resouces if one were a dust mite or enteric bacteria oh the abundance! Most of the time that is how I feel... Oh the abundance!!!

I have this idea about control that the idea of controlling anything outside one's own thoughts and actions is like trying to stop the rain from falling or the leaves from changing color or a deer from fleeing. I am thinking how much strength we can have within our selves if we don't spend it trying to change things to suit our comforts. In the same thought,  everything is always changing and so much of our energy seems to be spent in trying to keep things from doing that so we clutch and polish and wrap and insulate and miss so much delight. 

I am always collecting rocks I love the feel of their weight when I carry them I love to be in rocky places more than green ones. I spread them out in front of my cabin like a garden that needs no water. I love the finding and carrying more than the having. I have a pair of old old polar bear paws I bought for twenty-five cents each from Orville Paye a junk dealer in Saranac Lake New York. I have saved them kept them for 20 years there are so many things that pass through my hands and go on to other places but those paws.
I like to save up in my mind the anticipation of being in Utah at my cabin when I am not there I keep big empty spaces inside me that I can fill with all kinds of lovely potentials and they feel good inside on their own not even needing to be realized. I don't save them for long I let them go after awhile or they turn real and move out like breathing.

What a thing it is to wonder. I love curiosity. Curious people glow with a visible  energy. Wonder might generate heat even. I love living a kind of life where there is more wonder than certainty.

I love rocky challenges and slippery surfaces and easy resting places and moving through all of them every day with spirit. Gnomi is not so sure about the slippery surface.

On Saturday afternoon I took a cold bleak hike up to a pair of lakes tucked against the north slopes of Mount Sopris. I have suddenly noticed that all my photographs have turned wintry blue hued. There are rare bits of color.  Rosehips stay bright. I love to eat them after the frost has softened them and maybe because they are so deeply red against the snow. I picked my pockets full and transfered them into a big bowl at home. This morning I woke up and there on the counter, right next to my bed and everythiing else that is within a long arms reach in my little trailer,  the bowl was empty but for two lone berries. Who ate them last night?  What shall I leave out tonight?

I subscribe to Alternet and woke up to find a wonderful article this morning.

I have been thinking about Buy Nothing Day. There is something else to try. It is No Garbage Day. I am starting with one day a week then maybe more and more, but one day when I throw nothing away, create no trash. That means buy nothing and more than that use nothing single packaged except tag free items from thrift store with no receipt machines and in bulk bins at the food coop when I bring my own bags for the loose bulk I have some silk ones so much prettier than plastic and made from used scarves. It means paying with cash and wait there is the receipt printed out.... and my co worker was adamant that it must include no toilet paper. This is going to be interesting. There is no saving anything trash like for the next day. Now I am laughing because I remember how my mother doesn't like trash baskets or cans. She only has one in her whole house in the kitchen. I remember being annoyed and now I see maybe not her reasoning (she just doesn't like how they look) but the idea. I love the idea of avoiding potential trash.