Gaia Community: Farland's Blog

What do you think about when you're feeling down?

Wed, 20 Aug 2008 01:37:33 -0000

I would quiet my thinking and open my eyes and ears and let my body feel the ground under my feet and the cool or heat of the air I would hold myself gently in my hand.

first snow

Sat, 16 Aug 2008 20:43:08 -0000

Last night the first winter snow fell on the high mountains and in the valleys there was hail and thunder.

What do you prefer to do with others?

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 16:00:11 -0000

Most of the time there is no preferring. I love doing things with friends and love equally doing those things alone where it does still seem as though there are others involved, even if they might be other parts of me who may not be as apparent when I am with someone else.
Yesterday was spent in part exploring an abandoned roof caved in ranch with a friend. It is a wonderful feeling to share the joys of such an exploration. A great horned owl watched from the hidden dappled shade of the tree by the back shed. If I had been alone the bird might have been stronger felt. Paul was the one who noticed the owl. He had never seen one wild before. It was a great day.

In what way are you a good traveler?

Tue, 12 Aug 2008 13:01:01 -0000

Such a delicate looking thing thriving in a rocky high exposed place. That is how I feel too where-ever I am.

What have you been paying attention to?

Mon, 11 Aug 2008 15:58:31 -0000

My eyes are greedy. Most of the time I am paying attention to the odd colored stone or pattern of rain streaks on the tree trunk. Sometimes my eyes let other parts of me take the lead. Yesterday on a long cloud heavy hike I began to think about inside things. I called my mother on the anniversary of my father's death. I got her answering machine and left a message. She had a house full of guests and was surrounded by family. She didn't call me back. That's the way she is and I didn't think anything about it. Then I did. It made me feel a bit mad at her a quick fleeting anger that swooshed as suddenly into realizing what a gift it has been for me that she left me un-tended as a child. I was un-tendable. I preferred consequences to compliance. I quietly let her cut my hair short like a boys when I refused to brush it wanting needing it to be unkempt. On cold days when my mother asked me to put on a sweater I'd wear it under my dress. I would give my birthday presents away to other children and cut up new clothes to make outfits for my dolls but hold on to certain tattered things and wear them years past their fitting. I only did my school work if the teacher was kind. Some years I was no more than a mouse in the classroom and my mother let me be through it all. The choices I made in the outside world mirrored the ones in my heart. There was nobody pulling my heart into a certain matched cultural beat. It got to figure itself out.

Why do you answer these questions?

Fri, 08 Aug 2008 12:46:51 -0000

Because you pose them. Then there is curiosity.

How do you allow for expansion in your life?

Thu, 07 Aug 2008 22:59:00 -0000

I think it has to do with leaving empty spaces in all the aspects of being human as if breathing is something that is bigger than lung capacity.

How is online community different from the real world sort?

Wed, 06 Aug 2008 21:38:14 -0000

It reminds me of the make believe playing with dollies or teddybears when a child is alone.

On what do you most enjoy spending money?

Sun, 03 Aug 2008 14:23:13 -0000

I like spending money when the giving and receiving goes beyond a simple exchange in a right there small economy way. The local thrift shop is an all vollunteer non profit that provides grant money and funding to local needs. They raise almost $300,000. a year. When the economy goes down more people go to the thrift shop and they can give out more grants and help more people. I love to buy pocket coin cheap pretty clothes and furnishings and know the money is spreading in a good way like planting seeds. The local book store is more expensive. I bought a new book there a few days ago "Out Stealing Horses" by Per Petterson. I am swirling around in my mouth each sentence he has written and getting lost and found in some shared story. That same afternoon I sat in the back room of the bookstore and listened to Madeleine Albright speak and earlier in the Summer I heard E.O. Wilson speak there where we can ask them questions in a setting so intimate as a house gathering. Then there is one more part to this, the giving away of the clothes and the passing on of the books. I enjoy spending money when it feels like planting a garden.

How would your future self inspire you?

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 16:32:06 -0000

I am older than I ever could have imagined in people years so I feel like I am my future self and that self I think loves to be the caretaker of all the earlier selves and the inspiring goes both ways from young to old and back.

signature strengths

Thu, 31 Jul 2008 04:36:39 -0000

Here are my test results

Your Top Strength

Curiosity and interest in the world
You are curious about everything. You are always asking questions, and you find all subjects and topics fascinating. You like exploration and discovery.

Your Second Strength

Appreciation of beauty and excellence
You notice and appreciate beauty, excellence, and/or skilled performance in all domains of life, from nature to art to mathematics to science to everyday experience.

Your Third Strength

Forgiveness and mercy
You forgive those who have done you wrong. You always give people a second chance. Your guiding principle is mercy and not revenge.

Your Fourth Strength

Love of learning
You love learning new things, whether in a class or on your own. You have always loved school, reading, and museums-anywhere and everywhere there is an opportunity to learn.

Your Fifth Strength

Perspective (wisdom)
Although you may not think of yourself as wise, your friends hold this view of you. They value your perspective on matters and turn to you for advice. You have a way of looking at the world that makes sense to others and to yourself.

Strength#6

Gratitude
You are aware of the good things that happen to you, and you never take them for granted. Your friends and family members know that you are a grateful person because you always take the time to express your thanks.

Strength#7

Bravery and valor
You are a courageous person who does not shrink from threat, challenge, difficulty, or pain. You speak up for what is right even if there is opposition. You act on your convictions.

Strength#8

Zest, enthusiasm, and energy
Regardless of what you do, you approach it with excitement and energy. You never do anything halfway or halfheartedly. For you, life is an adventure.

Strength#9

Creativity, ingenuity, and originality
Thinking of new ways to do things is a crucial part of who you are. You are never content with doing something the conventional way if a better way is possible.

Strength#10

Self-control and self-regulation
You self-consciously regulate what you feel and what you do. You are a disciplined person. You are in control of your appetites and your emotions, not vice versa.

Strength#11

Capacity to love and be loved
You value close relations with others, in particular those in which sharing and caring are reciprocated. The people to whom you feel most close are the same people who feel most close to you.

Strength#12

Honesty, authenticity, and genuineness
You are an honest person, not only by speaking the truth but by living your life in a genuine and authentic way. You are down to earth and without pretense; you are a "real" person.

Strength#13

Humor and playfulness
You like to laugh and tease. Bringing smiles to other people is important to you. You try to see the light side of all situations.

Strength#14

Kindness and generosity
You are kind and generous to others, and you are never too busy to do a favor. You enjoy doing good deeds for others, even if you do not know them well.

Strength#15

Fairness, equity, and justice
Treating all people fairly is one of your abiding principles. You do not let your personal feelings bias your decisions about other people. You give everyone a chance.

Strength#16

Hope, optimism, and future-mindedness
You expect the best in the future, and you work to achieve it. You believe that the future is something that you can control.

Strength#17

Modesty and humility
You do not seek the spotlight, preferring to let your accomplishments speak for themselves. You do not regard yourself as special, and others recognize and value your modesty.

Strength#18

Social intelligence
You are aware of the motives and feelings of other people. You know what to do to fit in to different social situations, and you know what to do to put others at ease.

Strength#19

Spirituality, sense of purpose, and faith
You have strong and coherent beliefs about the higher purpose and meaning of the universe. You know where you fit in the larger scheme. Your beliefs shape your actions and are a source of comfort to you.

Strength#20

Industry, diligence, and perseverance
You work hard to finish what you start. No matter the project, you "get it out the door" in timely fashion. You do not get distracted when you work, and you take satisfaction in completing tasks.

Strength#21

Judgment, critical thinking, and open-mindedness
Thinking things through and examining them from all sides are important aspects of who you are. You do not jump to conclusions, and you rely only on solid evidence to make your decisions. You are able to change your mind.

Strength#22

Leadership
You excel at the tasks of leadership: encouraging a group to get things done and preserving harmony within the group by making everyone feel included. You do a good job organizing activities and seeing that they happen.

Strength#23

Citizenship, teamwork, and loyalty
You excel as a member of a group. You are a loyal and dedicated teammate, you always do your share, and you work hard for the success of your group.

Strength#24

Caution, prudence, and discretion
You are a careful person, and your choices are consistently prudent ones. You do not say or do things that you might later regret.

a thinking day

Wed, 30 Jul 2008 16:08:42 -0000

I was thinking about loss yesterday the same day my father died some years ago. I took an evening ramble up to a trio of blue green lakes that split the tumbled scree fields from the forest. I was thinking about my father's presence when he was alive. There wasn't talking, he didn't explain things to me and I never told him my secrets. I can hardly picture him in a human father form. He was the space that opened up before me everyday the space I moved into where I turned into me, feeling cherished standing alone supported by the open palm of the earth and a thousand years of humanity and finding that loss is as thin skinned and fleeting as a bubble

What might you learn to live without, and why?

Sun, 27 Jul 2008 17:59:06 -0000

I took the girls to Moab this week. What an adventure to be so child centered without distraction. It was over 100 degrees and the tiny gnats that are usually gone by now have decided to stay into August. We played and created stories that fit our discomforts to make them seem necessary. We sat neck deep in a murky stream while clean tourists tripped across the bridge above us. We hiked in wet clothes to Delicate Arch and talked to everyone we passed. We met people from Belgium and Switzerland, bunches of Dutch families, Germans from Essen and Dresden, a family from Paris and another from Montreal, a group from South London and a strung out multigenerationed Indian Family from West Virginia. The girls sorted through a box of dolly clothes at the thrift shop and we brought home enough costumes for their stuffed animal to perform a multi act play at night by candle light. They kept it a surprise for me. I only knew it involved an evil red cloaked monkey. Sonny the unicycling rock shop owner gave us a small horny toad to set free up at the cabins. We hunted out caves in the slick rock to find shade and played in shallow pot holes full of water skippers. Every little stone found was a gem to collect and lovingly wash. At night we carried our dinner to the canyon edge and ate between the western setting sun and the eastern black clouded La Sals. I read Fiona to sleep and Julia heavy lidded with stories of the Greek Gods and they slept soundly with doors open to the pitch night all clumped in my only bed under sheep skins. The days were theirs and sometimes I would pretend I wasn't there. It would start "What would you do right now if I wan't here could you find your way back home?" And I'd slip back silent as they retraced a trailess path, or "What would you do if I happened to fall asleep right now?" And their eyes would light up and they would light the oil lamps and Julia would settle Fiona into a pile of pillows and read her to sleep a book in one hand and candle in the other. The less we have, the more room we have to live the right sized lives.

What have you learned from other animals?

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 19:59:58 -0000

They have been my favorite teachers

When were you last suprised by joy?

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 22:54:36 -0000

I was thinking today how one of my best friends is the weather. I love that though I can see storms brewing miles away they always arrive overhead as a surprise of wind or rain or snow or lightening or wavy aired heat and never once in a lifetime the same. The other day I skiied hard in a downpour sweat washing off as it appeared like being a fish underwater but with room between the water to breathe, and the sky black.

What has your experience been of loss or grief?

Sat, 19 Jul 2008 14:23:56 -0000

It is the way to be reminded that there can't be a certained safety in holding on to anything, in surrounding oneself with relationships and possesions against the world. Along with some sad pangs when I feel loss, there is also a rush of a lovely feeling of another window opening allowing more life to flood in.

What is the most important story in your life right now?

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 17:20:26 -0000

There is not one story that is more important than any other. I love that if it were written down, whole pieces planned out would be crossed out and new ones scribbled in. Yesterday evening I was planning to go to some Italian Film with a friend. I drove the twenty miles to see it and found out on the way that it might not be good so I went into the mountains instead hiked for a movies length in time to a high ice floed lake took off my dress and splashed and dunked in the melted ice and sat on the mossy wild flowered shore line while the sun set. Gnomi and Sticky chased after the whistles of pikas.

What helps you stay open?

Fri, 11 Jul 2008 14:21:30 -0000

I think living does, the responses with being open encourage more opening, and closing seems impossible seems like death. I look at the ground high in the mountains and see how it lies exposed.

What is the role of art in the world?

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 14:14:43 -0000

I think art allows the eye to play and through eyes, the spirit and through spirit, everything. I could post a thousand pictures.

What pattern has characterized your life recently?

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 19:04:16 -0000

I like the pattern of the water slipping thin over this concrete. I caught one moment in the changing flow.